Coffin Fuck ~ Fucks Christmas (live) (album review) ... Wait till they get ahold of the other holidays!

Style: comedy, live, holiday, death metal
Label: self-released
Year: 2009
Home: New Jersey

Members: Chris 'Mandroid' Lemoine - lead vocals/harmonica/voice of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer/elves
Matt Van Dongen ~ guitar/voice of Santa Claus
AJ 'CorpsePenis' Tedeschi ~ drums/voices of Frosty the Snowman/elves/Neil Young/Mrs. Claus

Guests: Steve Thompson ~ voice of the manager/elves

"It's the most wonderful time of the year" sung in the most throaty growl, think Dethklok, with a distorted guitar slashing away behind it, sounds just as terrible as it reads here & Coffin Fuck do it terribly wonderful in this holiday outing. Following the tradition of rock operas by fellow Xmas carolers Trans-Siberian Orchestra, albeit sans anything Christian, charitable or decent, the album opens with Spinal Tap-esque banter with the band discovering the news they've been hired for "25K" by Santa as a Meat Loaf cover band. The ensuing concert for the elves, with guest appearances by Santa, his North Pole associates & for some mysterious reason Neil Young, is anything but Meat Loaf but gnarly Xmas carolers that take a page out of the Nunslaughter handbook. One guitar plays the melody line while the rest of the band goes into distorted double bass smashing rhythms that sound alike in every song, the only thing not destroyed are the traditional lyrics. It's not a real live recording, well, as much as the elves are real but its so wild & riotous that for every band that ever wanted to capture their stage energy in the studio ... they should take a page from the Coffin Fuck handbook. It's loud, it's obnoxious, it's barely musical. As for the rest of the story, which is really the whole incentive to listening to the album ... the jokes are juvenile & often more embarrassing than anything, let alone featuring a horrible Neil Young impersonation, but the band never sound like they're not having a good time, well, an extremely trashy good time & there's no denying this is an elaborate affairs of numerous overdubs & a script. But, that's exactly the point for these holidays joy makers. They wanted to make some music but also go crazy. While, this is not for the faint of heart or overly mature. As for how it ends ... well, Santa offered 25 candy canes, not 25K, he offers toys instead but a grown man can't drink toys. For those who are curious, Coffin Fuck are responsible for the truly successful Xmas single "Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer", which my grandma actually used to enjoy to the dread of my aunt.