Wednesday 13 ~ Necrophaze: Antidote (album review) ... God thanks your mother for her service!

Style: heavy metal, covers, shock rock
Label: Nuclear Blast
Year: 2021
Home: n/a

Members: Joseph Michael Poole "Wednesday 13" ~ vocals/guitar
Band ~ n/a
Guest: Calico Cooper ~ b. vocals

My immediate reaction was the arrangements, right down to the pounding guitar solos, sound like a less bluesy version of Brookyln's metal trio Tired Wings. Stripped down metal with an almost storyteller quality to the vocals, with music going for groove over flashy solos. It's what I consider to be a New York City type of modern hard rock/metal, as in very punchy & raw compared to the production heavy glam of the West Coast. While the singer growls also much like the frontman of Tired Wings, but without the emotional aspect. That's where the comparison ends, as half the songs on this four song EP are Tired Wings esque-originals with the other two being a covers of INXS & Gary Numan. The later includes guest backing vocalist in Alice Cooper's daughter Calico. The originals have profane lyrics I was kinda expecting, given the name of the opener is "Your Mother Still Sucks Cock In Heaven". Not having been to heaven I can't verify if this is true or not, so I'll take Wednesday 13's opinion for it. Of course, 18 year old boys are going to want to hear this, but as a 43 year old man ... well ... I'm kinda embarrassed to say I actually enjoyed these profane originals on repeated listens. I was expecting over the top metal lyrics of just screamed incoherent blasphemies, but the originals are crude in a witty way & with every lyric clear. I got a chuckle over them. Its worth it to just quote some of the lyrics: "I heard a story just the other day/A story that I could not believe/A story about your mother/How she goes down on her knees" ... "She's down in hell giving slurpies at the 7-11" ... "I know her so well/Cause she's in hell doing what she does best" ... "It was a gift from God/that she does real well" ...  "I'm hearing things/Things that I did not know/That your mother could suck a basketball through a garden hose". Hearing these words my thought was: guys are going 'yeah', while the women are like 'oh, my jaw.' Sorry, not to be crude, but that's the way it is. The other original "Screwdriver 2 - The Return" has the same sound & is just as bonkers lyrically, with the lyrics:"Your head is where I ram it/Can't you see I still don't care/Screwdriver is back/Stick it in your ear" ...  "You're pathetic/So pitiful/Take the screwdriver/Ram it in your skull." Not quite as much fun as talking about your mother, but points for creativity. I can't really say I've ever heard a screwdriver in the head song. Not even the band Skrewdriver did that! Bad pun intended. From here we go into a heavy metal version of the INXS hit "Devil Inside". The heavily distorted guitar plays the melody, with the lyrics growled like Rob Zombie. I'm not going to say they improved upon the song, as it feels too stripped down for me. I feel like the song has an inherent quirkiness that is missing in Wednesday 13's interpretation. While Wednesday 13 doesn't replace that with anything. I might expect them to make the song menacing, but I'm not feeling the devil inside. The problem is Wednesday 13 has a pretty limited musical template. So, while I found this interesting to listen to, I came away feeling the idea of a heavy metal INXS is more interesting than the execution. I found myself wondering how this song would work with a band with more guitars, keyboards & other sounds, i.e. a wider template. There is some hints of this in the chorus with the first keyboard sounds introduced on the album, but I would like to hear more layers throughout more of the song.  Ironically, the closing track of Gary Numan's "Films" as dominating synths that answers my curiosity. Its moody & more than just a driving guitar. Can we take this instrumentation & put it to "Devil Inside"? For the record, Calico Cooper just has a less than exciting backing vocal role. For those reading, it should be obvious that I'm not familiar with Wednesday 13 earlier albums. Thus, I confess I might be doing them a disservice. For those that don't know, this group, Joseph Michael Poole aka Wednesday 13 also fronts the Murderdolls, along with an array of other bands including Maniac Spider Trash, Frankenstein Drag Queens From Planet 13, Bourbon Crow & Gunfire 76. The Murderdolls is likely the most recognizable name. I've actually never heard them, either. For those that say I should listen Murderdolls or earlier Wednesday 13 albums before doing this review, I don't think you should have to listen to other bands/album to get a particular album. No more than you need to look at one painting by Van Gogh to be able to understand another painting by him, or you need to see a Van Gogh in order to understand a Warhol. A work of art should stand on its own.

Gary Numan ~ I, Assassin (album review) ... Taking a car ride with Gary!

Style: synth pop, jazz-rock, experimental
Label: Blanco Y Negro Records
Year: 1982
Home: England

Members: Gary Numan ~ vocals/synthesizers/guitar
Roger Mason ~ synthesizers
Pino Palladino ~ bass/guitar
Chris Slade ~ drums/percussion

Additional: Thereza Bazar - b. vocals
John Webb ~ percussion
Mike ~ saxophone/harmonica

There's a point in GN's career where he vanishes from a lot of people's radars & becomes that one hit synthesizer wonder. Though, really he never stopped making music, he just stopped having hits & appealing to the same quasi-mainstream audience. His music also moved from the cold synthesizer heavy pre-industrial "Cars" into a strange new wave-ish fusion territory before reappearing in its old form due to the advocation of student Trent Reznor whose Nine Inch Nails GN has confessed was the music he wanted to do & was trying to do but was facing the wrong way creatively. His 80's is a strange place with highs & lows. Those expecting "Cars" will probably be disappointed on some level. What makes his 80's output both bad & good is GN never stopped experimenting & exploring. The problem was that those who were imitating him were going in a different & more successful direction, while he seemed to be moving farther from "Cars" into more pop, jazz & funk directions ... or, to put it another way, his students were continuing what he started, while he was going farther away from what he started trying to move closer to more known musical elements. Funky rhythms & lots of jazz became the modus operandi of GN in the 80's, which is warm & interesting, but also over-indulgent with weak songs that meander horribly & find a strange home between experiment & pop song. It's all the material that is the opposite of "Cars" & his group Tubeway Army & the reason most folks enjoy GN. His rock outings at the same time also try to hard just with different instrumentation. For a taste of the 80's one place to go that won't disappoint is I, Assassin, his third album of the 80's, which is one of his stronger forays into bringing together synth-funk basslines & some good songs. He was always avant-garde, now he's avant-garde in a new way, more akin to 70's funk fusion then Kraftwerk. Before I go into some of the highlights of the album I should say that if I'm sounding critical, yes, maybe I'm overly critical here I'll confess. But, know that I like GN, give him a lot of respect, but while some albums have interesting musical notions they are not something I want to listen to, outside a few tracks, repeatedly. This is the problem I have with GN's 80's output. It lacks focus & doesn't get my focus. I also like my GN cold & industrial. I expect some disagreement, though some critics have called I, Assassin the end of the line for some years before things get too unhinged for their own good. Though, really, few will disagree GN was at his best in the 70's. The key to I, Assassin & the reason I recommend it is, like other critics, I feel this has the best of everything without veering off too far in any direction, while keeping focused. It's a bit of a bridge or transition album in that sense. From now on GN would flirt would different styles never staying place that creates mixed results. Whether this is due to the pressures of the business or his own creative urges I don't know. "War Songs" has the electro-synth background more familiar to some ears, though feels too short like GN wants to not dwell on the past, & "The House Is Cold" goes back in time to earlier GN days. "We Take The Mystery To Bed" also goes right to the old sound but with a funky bass that is a nice mix of the two styles of new & old. Funk & heavy percussion attack "White Boys & Heroes" & "This Is My House", with fretless jazz bass sliding through "A Dream Of Siam" & the instrumental "Glitter & Ash" as a lead instrument. This jazz bass is really the dominant feature of the album & would come to play an important part in GN's 80's output & where things go off for many fans. So, while I might enjoy this album others might. It's strange that way. But, then, "Cars" was just as polarizing. Perhaps if GN was doing this today it would be better received, but the fusion he was aiming for was a minority musical position of such folks as bassists Randy Coven, Billy Sheehan & T.M. Stevens, but with almost too much free-flowing jazz for GN's own good. The low point is the wandering piece "A Dream Of Siam" that paints a strange Asian picture or the dreamy "Music For Chameleons". It's too much, too wandering, too unfocused trying to do the free flowing jazz thing when we know GN for calculated cold music. In the end, I think this era of GN's career is important in his history, if not the most enjoyable musically. He didn't vanish away but was a very active musician, even though many might forget that, & its a fact that needs to be recalled to give him justice. He might be a one hit wonder but he didn't drop off the musical earth. He actually always made music for a minority, so the 80's didn't see anything different happen ... its just potentially a different minority. I was shocked when I first started to get into GN beyond Tubeway Army & his few hit records into this more fusion arena. Even if I don't listen again it expanded my view of his musical world. It also disappointed me, but I'll let you decided which tilts the balance too far in what direction.